Poetry — Issue One
Black Swan
“There’s no fear in this swan body,” says the ballet teacher
as I twirl on a computer screen with fifteen other black swans.
as I twirl on a computer screen with fifteen other black swans.
We land in our killing/hiding poses.
This year, there are many poses.
This year, there are many poses.
This year, the lucky are bored and the unlucky are dead.
This winter, they put a mask on the Nutcracker doll,
This winter, they put a mask on the Nutcracker doll,
as though a piece of wood could infect. But also
funny, in the way we laugh when we don’t know
funny, in the way we laugh when we don’t know
what else to do with ourselves. We make believe
to stay alive. When we run, we pretend it’s from zombies.
to stay alive. When we run, we pretend it’s from zombies.
When we make food, we pretend it’s for friends.
We put up a projector screen and imagine we’re at the movies,
We put up a projector screen and imagine we’re at the movies,
complete with the chemicals that make movie popcorn taste
so good. Sometimes we forget where we are, because we’ve tried
so good. Sometimes we forget where we are, because we’ve tried
so hard to do that. Other times we are stuck in our own bodies,
when we’d rather live in another, just for some variety.
when we’d rather live in another, just for some variety.
We give up on to-do lists and make could-do lists.
There is so much waiting, and planning seems impossible
There is so much waiting, and planning seems impossible
without knowledge of fortune telling, which would be too expensive
if it worked. I remember the fortune tellers in Jackson Square,
if it worked. I remember the fortune tellers in Jackson Square,
looking at their phones in between customers. Somehow
that ruined the effect, as though they were looking up the answers.
that ruined the effect, as though they were looking up the answers.
If only we could look up the answers, but there is too
much in these swan bodies, spinning and spinning.
much in these swan bodies, spinning and spinning.
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Abigail Welhouse is the author of the chapbooks Small Dog (dancing girl press), Too Many Humans of New York (Bottlecap Press), and Bad Baby (dancing girl press). Her poems have been published in The Toast, Flapperhouse, Ghost Ocean Magazine, and elsewhere. Subscribe to her Secret Poems at tinyletter.com/welhouse.
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